I can't think of a title for this one

"i would pray for rain
if i thought it would help"
but that is my problem
i don't know what will
and i am in a room
full of faces i don't know
even though it seems like
i've been here since so long ago
and when it comes to a melody
i don't have one
maybe that would help
or maybe it can't be done
i think that i write too much
just a bunch of shit
none of it is good
but it's how i deal with it
my life in general
as the time passes by
nothing gets done
and i discover a new meaning
in the words that i find
to be so familiar
is not a bad thing
it's where i feel safe when i'm with a stranger
i'm tired of eating out
but i don't have a home
where i can eat
because people never return after they go
like a ghost town
with no one haunting me
not anymore
but i still dream of that city
where i can be happy
and it might rain every day
even though it wouldn't help
atleast i wouldn't have to pray
because it would just be
an awkward conversation with god
where i wouldn't know what to say
except confess that i'm a fraud
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# Posted on Thursday, 01 November 2007 at 2:57 AM

Starve For Art

if you want art
well first you gotta starve
i have learned this
over a period of hopelessness
and maybe that's why
i welcome these insults with my
eyes wide open
so i can know what i'm doin here
if i am sad
well i can sing out of my head
till i feel better
and i'll run into a cave where
all the inhabitants
hide from the light like its
some kind of fire
some kind of flame
we run and we run
till we can't run the processes
of our passionless minds
you're falling behind
but i'm falling too
no, i won't desert you
but we are so hungry and empty
that we might eat eachother
just to fill the hole
cuz the art is never there
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# Posted on Friday, 26 October 2007 at 4:55 AM

Half A Heart

i go to bed with a hunger
but i cannot kill another
it's clear that i have no talent
i guess writing poems has become a habit
that i cannot drop when i want
because they are all that i got
would you drop me down a well
if i'd keep you from going to hell?
or is there even a place
for the expression on my face
when you said to me that i
could never be alive
i am already dead to you
just a ghost passing through
your life at a slow steady pace
so slow that you're unable to trace
my steps or my thoughts
as my body rots
for you
my body rots
for you
my body rots
for you
as a ghost i am jealous
of the zombies with less
of a mind, but more of flesh
and half a heart that you could test
i'd rather die once again
than live a life of abandonment
i'd rather eat all my friends
than see our love come to an end
and i remember a time when you
held my hand till my fingers went blue
it is all over the screen
what we had once been
what we are still
and what we always will
and as i lay under these rocks
my body still rots
for you
my body rots
for you
my body rots
for you
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# Posted on Tuesday, 23 October 2007 at 2:45 AM

My Loneliness

i try to avoid the cracks in the concrete that i walk on
so that my feet won't know my world is falling apart
and a girl i don't recognize waves at me
i wave back to her out of curiosity
she smiles and drives away from my loneliness
i don't know what love is
i'm a fuck up
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# Posted on Wednesday, 17 October 2007 at 11:47 PM

Heading Out West

I'm trying to make my life better
By heading back out west
Heading to my love
I'm gunna write some tests
And be a good person
Well i miss you to death
I'm going to a college
I'm headed back out west
And i've pictured myself happy
I've pictured myself stressed
I'm gunna keep on trying
Still headed back out west
I've spent all of my money
Now i got nothing left
I'm trying to make it by
So i'm headed back out west
I've felt like giving up
But i'm doing my best
I'm headed for failure, no
I'm headed back out west
I am on the verge of tears
As i'm getting undressed
I feel myself breaking
Still headed back out west
Closing my eyes, giving up
Already depressed
I'm getting better at this
Headed back out west
I'm thinking of our past and
I think it was for the best
I'm smiling when i think of you
I'm headed back out west
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# Posted on Wednesday, 17 October 2007 at 11:41 PM

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